General

Quotations about Dogs

There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face. ~Ben Williams

The great pleasure of a dog is that you may make a fool of yourself with him and not only will he not scold you, but he will make a fool of himself too. ~Samuel Butler, Notebooks, 1912

From the dog’s point of view, his master is an elongated and abnormally cunning dog. ~Mabel Louise Robinson

Dogs are miracles with paws. ~Attributed to Susan Ariel Rainbow Kennedy

Man is a dog’s idea of what God should be. ~Holbrook Jackson

The dog is the only animal that has seen his god. ~Author Unknown

Dogs’ lives are too short. Their only fault, really. ~Agnes Sligh Turnbull

My little dog – a heartbeat at my feet. ~Edith Wharton

We long for an affection altogether ignorant of our faults. Heaven has accorded this to us in the uncritical canine attachment. ~George Eliot

I think dogs are the most amazing creatures; they give unconditional love. For me they are the role model for being alive. ~Gilda Radner

I think we are drawn to dogs because they are the uninhibited creatures we might be if we weren’t certain we knew better. They fight for honor at the first challenge, make love with no moral restraint, and they do not for all their marvelous instincts appear to know about death. Being such wonderfully uncomplicated beings, they need us to do their worrying. ~George Bird Evans, Troubles with Bird Dogs

Our dogs will love and admire the meanest of us, and feed our colossal vanity with their uncritical homage. ~Agnes Repplier

One reason a dog can be such a comfort when you’re feeling blue is that he doesn’t try to find out why. ~Author Unknown

Scratch a dog and you’ll find a permanent job. ~Franklin P. Jones

I talk to him when I’m lonesome like; and I’m sure he understands. When he looks at me so attentively, and gently licks my hands; then he rubs his nose on my tailored clothes, but I never say naught thereat. For the good Lord knows I can buy more clothes, but never a friend like that. ~W. Dayton Wedgefarth

When a dog barks at the moon, then it is religion; but when he barks at strangers, it is patriotism! ~David Starr Jordan

Properly trained, a man can be dog’s best friend. ~Corey Ford

If you think dogs can’t count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then giving Fido only two of them. ~Phil Pastoret

With the exception of women, there is nothing on earth so agreeable or necessary to the comfort of man as the dog. ~Edward Jesse, Anecdote of Dogs

The dog is a yes-animal, very popular with people who can’t afford to keep a yes-man. ~Robertson Davies

Dogs laugh, but they laugh with their tails. ~Max Eastman, Enjoyment of Laughter

My goal in life is to be as good of a person my dog already thinks I am. ~Author Unknown

If dogs could talk, it would take a lot of the fun out of owning one. ~Andy Rooney

A dog is not “almost human” and I know of no greater insult to the canine race than to describe it as such. ~John Holmes

If you get to thinking you’re a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else’s dog around. ~Will Rogers

The more I see of man, the more I like dogs. ~Mme. de Staël

Did you ever notice when you blow in a dog’s face he gets mad at you? But when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window. ~Steve Bluestone

To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs. ~Aldous Huxley

They never talk about themselves but listen to you while you talk about yourself, and keep up an appearance of being interested in the conversation. ~Jerome K. Jerome

Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that is how dogs spend their lives. ~Sue Murphy

Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole. ~Roger Caras

The dog is a gentleman; I hope to go to his heaven, not man’s. ~Mark Twain, letter to W.D. Howells, 2 April 1899

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog. ~Ambrose Bierce

A dog is one of the remaining reasons why some people can be persuaded to go for a walk. ~O.A. Battista

In order to really enjoy a dog, one doesn’t merely try to train him to be semi human. The point of it is to open oneself to the possibility of becoming partly a dog. ~Edward Hoagland

If dogs could talk, perhaps we would find it as hard to get along with them as we do with people. ~Karel Capek

Near this spot are deposited the remains of one who possessed Beauty without Vanity, Strength without Insolence, Courage without Ferocity, and all the Virtues of Man, without his Vices. This Praise, which would be unmeaning Flattery if inscribed over human ashes, is but a just tribute to the Memory of Boatswain, a Dog. ~George Gordon, Lord Byron, “Inscription on the Monument of a Newfoundland Dog”

The dog was created specially for children. He is the god of frolic. ~Henry Ward Beecher

The greatest love is a mother’s; then a dog’s; then a sweetheart’s. ~Polish Proverb

A man may smile and bid you hail
Yet wish you to the devil;
But when a good dog wags his tail,
You know he’s on the level.
~Author Unknown

Dogs have given us their absolute all. We are the center of their universe. We are the focus of their love and faith and trust. They serve us in return for scraps. It is without a doubt the best deal man has ever made. ~Roger Caras

No philosophers so thoroughly comprehend us as dogs and horses. ~Herman Melville, Redburn. His First Voyage, 1849

Anybody who doesn’t know what soap tastes like never washed a dog. ~Franklin P. Jones

Any member introducing a dog into the Society’s premises shall be liable to a fine of one pound. Any animal leading a blind person shall be deemed to be a cat. ~Oxford Union Society, London, Rule 46

In the world which we know, among the different and primitive geniuses that preside over the evolution of the several species, there exists not one, excepting that of the dog, that ever gave a thought to the presence of man. ~Maurice Maeterlinck

Happiness is a warm puppy. ~Charles M. Schulz

No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as the dog does. ~Christopher Morley

If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater… suggest that he wear a tail. ~Fran Lebowitz

Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear. ~Dave Barry

A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of. ~Ogden Nash

Amount of time it takes for a dog to “do its business” is directly proportional to outside temperature + suitability of owner’s outerwear. ~Betsy Cañas Garmon

The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue. ~Author Unknown

Whoever said you can’t buy happiness forgot little puppies. ~Gene Hill

I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven’t got the guts to bite people themselves. ~Author Unknown

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person. ~Andy Rooney

My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to 99 cents a can. That’s almost $7.00 in dog money. ~Joe Weinstein

I always like a dog so long as he isn’t spelled backward. ~G.K. Chesterton

If your dog is fat, you’re not getting enough exercise. ~Author Unknown

The dog wags his tail, not for you, but for your bread. ~Portuguese Proverb

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down. ~Robert Benchley

The best way to get a puppy is to beg for a baby brother – and they’ll settle for a puppy every time. ~Winston Pendelton

Life is like a dog sled team. If you ain’t the lead dog, the scenery never changes. ~Lewis Grizzard

You ask of my companions. Hills, sir, and the sundown, and a dog as large as myself that my father bought me. They are better than human beings, because they know but do not tell. ~Emily Dickinson

There is no faith which has never yet been broken, except that of a truly faithful dog. ~Konrad Lorenz

If a dog will not come to you after having looked you in the face, you should go home and examine your conscience. ~Woodrow Wilson

Dogs, the foremost snobs in creation, are quick to notice the difference between a well-clad and a disreputable stranger. ~Albert Payson Terhune

You think dogs will not be in heaven? I tell you, they will be there long before any of us. ~Robert Louis Stevenson

To sit with a dog on a hillside on a glorious afternoon is to be back in Eden, where doing nothing was not boring — it was peace. ~Milan Kundera

When a man’s best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem. ~Edward Abbey

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself. ~Josh Billings

I wonder what goes through his mind when he sees us peeing in his water bowl. ~Penny Ward Moser

A dog can express more with his tail in seconds than his owner can express with his tongue in hours. ~Author Unknown

I love a dog. He does nothing for political reasons. ~Will Rogers

Children are for people who can’t have dogs. ~Author Unknown

I named my dog Stay so I can say, “Come here, Stay. Come here, Stay.” ~Steven Wright

When a shepherd goes to kill a wolf, and takes his dog along to see the sport, he should take care to avoid mistakes. The dog has certain relationships to the wolf the shepherd may have forgotten. ~Robert M. Pirsig, Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance

If you can look at a dog and not feel vicarious excitement and affection, you must be a cat. ~Author Unknown

The more one gets to know of men, the more one values dogs. ~Alphonse Toussenel

When a dog wants to hang out the “Do Not Disturb” sign, as all of us do now and then, he is regarded as a traitor to his species. ~Ramona C. Albert

Both humans and dogs love to play well into adulthood, and individuals from both species occasionally display evidence of having a conscience. ~Jon Winokur

The Pug is living proof that God has a sense of humor. ~Margo Kaufman

Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children, as they are already stretched and pulled to such a length that the child cannot do much harm one way or the other. ~Robert Benchley

I wonder if other dogs think Poodles are members of a weird religious cult. ~Rita Rudner

Fox-terriers are born with about four times as much original sin in them as other dogs. ~Jerome K. Jerome, Three Men in a Boat

Labradors [are] lousy watchdogs. They usually bark when there is a stranger about, but it is an expression of unmitigated joy at the chance to meet somebody new, not a warning. ~Norman Strung

Newfoundland dogs are good to save children from drowning, but you must have a pond of water handy and a child, or else there will be no profit in boarding a Newfoundland. ~Josh Billings

Bulldogs are adorable, with faces like toads that have been sat on. ~Colette

The nose of the bulldog has been slanted backwards so that he can breathe without letting go. ~Winston Churchill

I like a bit of mongrel myself, whether it’s a man or a dog; they’re the best for everyday. ~George Bernard Shaw

How many legs does a dog have if you call the tail a leg? Four. Calling a tail a leg doesn’t make it a leg. ~Abraham Lincoln

The greatest pleasure of a dog is that you may make a fool of yourself with him and not only will he not scold you, but he will make a fool of himself too. ~Samuel Butler

Some days you’re the dog; some days you’re the hydrant. ~Author Unknown

No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as much as the dog does. ~Christopher Morley

I’ve seen a look in dogs’ eyes, a quickly vanishing look of amazed contempt, and I am convinced that basically dogs think humans are nuts. ~John Steinbeck

Well-washed and well-combed domestic pets grow dull; they miss the stimulus of fleas. ~Francis Galton

In dog years, I’m dead. ~Author Unknown

To his dog, every man is Napolean, hence the constant popularity of dogs. ~Aldous Huxley

No animal should ever jump up on the dining room furniture unless
absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation.” ~Fran Lebowitz

If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater. . .
suggest that he wear a tail. ~Fran Lebowitz

Don’t accept your dog’s admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful. ~Ann Landers

Even the tiniest poodle is lionhearted, ready to do anything to defend home, master, and mistress. ~Louis Sabin

The trees in Siberia are miles apart, that is why the dogs are so fast. ~Bob Hope

The dog has got more fun out of man than man has got out of
the dog, for man is the more laughable of the two animals. ~James Thurber

It’s no coincidence that man’s best friend cannot talk. ~Author Unknown

Dogs laugh, but they laugh with their tails. What puts man in a higher state of evolution is that he has got his laugh on the right end. ~Max Eastman

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. ~Rita Rudner

The more I see of men, the more I admire dogs. ~Jeanne-Marie Roland

You own a dog; you feed a cat. ~Jim Fiebig

There is no faith which has never yet been broken except that of a truly faithful dog. ~Konrad Lorenz

Asthma doesn’t seem to bother me any more unless I’m around cigars or dogs. The thing that would bother me most would be a dog smoking a cigar. ~Steve Allen

I have caught more ills from people sneezing over me and giving me virus
infections than from kissing dogs. ~Barbara Woodhouse

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man. ~Mark Twain

Ever consider what pets must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul – chicken, pork, half a cow. They must think we’re the greatest hunters on earth! ~Anne Tyler

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